Restorative Questions After Bullying: When and How to Use Them is a practical guide for pastoral staff, senior leaders, heads of year and classroom teachers.
Restorative questions can support repair, but they must be used carefully. They are not a shortcut, a forced apology or a replacement for safeguarding, recording and clear boundaries.
The goal is to help schools move from awareness into clear action: what pupils should know, what staff should do and how leaders can review whether the approach is working.
Why this matters
Anti-bullying, online safety and peer relationship work has the greatest impact when it is joined to pastoral care, safeguarding, pupil voice and everyday classroom routines. A single assembly can raise attention, but pupils and staff need follow-up routes they can actually use.
Key decisions for leaders
Before launching a workshop, policy update or campaign week, it helps to agree a small number of decisions so the work is clear and safe.
- Whether the pupil who experienced harm feels safe enough for repair work
- What needs to be recorded before any restorative conversation
- Which adult is skilled and neutral enough to facilitate
- What follow-up will confirm that behaviour has changed
Practical activities schools can use
The activities below are designed to make the topic concrete for pupils and staff without turning sensitive experiences into public disclosure.
- Prepare separate conversations before any joint meeting
- Ask what happened, who was affected and what needs to change
- Avoid pressuring pupils into forgiveness or public disclosure
- Schedule follow-up to check safety, relationships and behaviour patterns
How to keep the work safe
Schools should make reporting routes visible, protect confidentiality where possible, follow safeguarding procedures and avoid asking pupils to share personal experiences in front of peers. Staff should know what to do if a pupil discloses harm after a session.
What pupils need to hear
Pupils need simple language: what counts as harm, what they can do if they are worried, which adults can help and why silence can leave problems hidden. They also need reassurance that asking for help is not overreacting.
What staff need to practise
Staff need first-response language, recording confidence, scenario practice and clarity about when to involve pastoral, safeguarding or senior leadership colleagues. Training should reduce uncertainty rather than add another task to a busy day.
How leaders can review impact
Useful review questions include whether pupils know where to report concerns, whether staff feel more confident responding, whether repeated locations or groups are appearing in records and whether pupil voice has led to visible change.
How HIP Psychology can support this work
HIP Psychology can help pastoral teams use restorative approaches safely within a wider anti-bullying and wellbeing system.
HIP Psychology works with schools across Northern Ireland and Ireland through pupil workshops, staff training, assemblies, reflective supervision and whole-school wellbeing support.
Useful guidance to align with
Schools can connect this work with current guidance and resources, including Department of Education effective responses to bullying behaviour, Department of Education safeguarding guidance and Department of Education emotional health and wellbeing guidance.
Related HIP Psychology resources
Useful related HIP resources include anti-bullying workshops for schools, anti-bullying programme for schools, bullying prevention workshops, Anti-Bullying Week 2026 schools guide, Anti-Bullying Week activities, cyberbullying in schools, friendship issues in schools, playground friendship support.
Need help planning the next step? Contact HIP Psychology to discuss workshops, staff training or whole-school wellbeing support.
FAQs
What should schools do first with restorative questions after bullying?
Start by agreeing the purpose, the pupils or staff affected, the safeguarding route and the follow-up process before launching new activities.
How can schools make this practical for staff?
Use realistic scenarios, short scripts, clear recording expectations and a named route for advice when a concern is sensitive or complex.
Should pupils be involved?
Yes. Pupil voice helps schools understand where barriers, silence or unsafe spaces exist, but feedback must be handled safely and acted upon.
How can HIP Psychology help?
HIP Psychology can support schools with pupil workshops, staff training, assemblies, policy review conversations and whole-school wellbeing planning.